As I wrote yesterday, God’s grace flows freely to us. God loves us unconditionally. Even in the midst of holding us accountable, even in the midst of the wrathful-oriented God, the God of tough love, grace and mercy and unconditional Love are always present. In Spider-man: Homecoming, it is Aunt May who offers it…
Aunt May opens the door for him. Tony Stark has just taken away the spider-suit and told him he can not be spider-man anymore. Peter had almost killed a ton of people and Tony Stark had to save the day.
Peter is distraught when he arrives home to an angry Aunt May. Aunt May is demanding that Peter tell her what happened. She has been worried all day.
Peter: I’m fine. I’m okay. Really, just relax I’m fine.
Aunt May: Cut the bull**it. I know you left detention. I know you left the hotel room in Washington DC. I know you sneak out of this house every night. That is not fine. Peter you have to tell me what’s going on. Just lay it out. Its me and you.
Peter (with tears in his eyes): I lost the Stark Internship (Spider-man)
Aunt May: What happened?
Peter: I worked really hard and he… he… but… he, you know…. I screwed it up.
Aunt May holds him and offers Peter grace, mercy, love.
Painting my way to Grace:
Not long after my tough-love encounter with Jesus, I headed off to New Mexico for a painting retreat. It was five days of intuitive painting. Intuitive painting allows me the space to engage my body and heart together in prayer and healing.
I began painting and rather quickly stumbled into rage. For years, I had been ‘controlling’ my temper. I laughingly told people I am like the Hulk — if you push the right buttons a green ugly monster of rage comes out of me. I had learned to be like Banner — to keep the other guy under control. The thing was, I was ignoring my anger and it was blocking my healing and my movement forward.
The facilitator encouraged me to release the anger through paint. What color is it? As I began the journey into my anger, I released it. It was not a pleasant experience for me. The anger and rage poured out of me onto the paper, out of me through sound, body movement, paint, tears, and more. By lunch I was spent…
After lunch I held the ball that my ‘painting’ had become as I released my anger. I sat in quiet meditation. My heart was calm, no longer blocked up by rage. What I realized was that the anger I had been pushing down all those years was covering up deep wounds that needed healing.
I turned my painting work toward healing, toward painting those places that had been hidden. For the next few days I dug deep, painted, cried, raged, painted and repeated the cycle.
Meeting the Sacred
On the next to last day, I headed up the mesa near where we were painting. Needing some time away, some time to breathe, I wandered and found myself near a rock and bush that the owner of the land joking called Moses and the Burning Bush. I heard my name called. Looking around I saw the facilitator at the bottom of the mesa waving at me. I headed down.
She was amazed she got my attention by waving. I told her it was her calling my name that got my attention. She did not call my name. I stood there in silence for a moment, then excused myself and told her I would be back.
I traced my steps back to the rock and bush and opened my heart to the Voice of the One who had called my name. There in the desert sand, on my knees, tears of Unconditional Love, Grace, Blessings and Healing ran down my face as Spirit met me face to face. I stayed, barefoot, on that Holy Ground soaking in the beauty of being in the presence of my Creator.
Grace as She held me and reminded me of how special I am. Healing as Her unconditional Love seeped deep into those wounded places that had been covered up by rage. Blessing as She showed me the way forward.
Grace of the Sacred:
When we are at our lowest the Sacred arrives to hold us, to remind us of how much we are loved and cherished. Spirit’s grace flows bringing us back to ourselves, aligning us once again with our Highest Self.
Sometimes, grace flows to us through the compassion of others, as it did for Peter, flowing through Aunt May. Other times it flows directly to us through the prayer-filled heart of God, as it did for me that day on the mesa.
Grace is always there to bring us back to hope, to raise us out of desolation and despair. It is free, yours for the experience. All you have to do is open your heart to the One, to the Sacred.
Can you hear your name beings called?
Do you feel yourself on Holy Ground?
Open your heart, listen and answer. Grace is waiting…
Pastor Jocelyn Emerson weaves together her training as a Light and Energy worker, Reiki master, spiritual director, and Pastor with her life experience as a mystic and contemplative to offer a space of trust, safety, and honesty to support you on your life's journey.